Repeat
by ZenWriterZero
Summary: All he can do is repeat the pain again and again. Both to try and get stronger, and to see her again.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY or anything associated with Roosterteeth. All I own are all my feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllls. Please read, review and enjoy.

Repeat

I tossed and turned in my sleeping bag, doing my best not to wake the others. I know I need sleep, we're in dangerous territory, I know I need my strength, but I just can't stop thinking about that town. Everyone gone or dead, a town that used to be so peaceful, full of life just snuffed out like that.

My family went there so many times it was almost like a second home and now it's gone.

Just like…

I flipped my bag open and left, making sure to be quiet. I think Ruby's been having nightmares lately. Which I guess isn't surprising, I think we all have something to have nightmares about these days. I looked around to make sure everyone was alright before leaving.

Have to admit, it was a beautiful night out here in the wilderness, the moon was bright and there were lightning bugs slowly dancing all around. It was…peaceful.

I managed to find a nice clearing far enough away where I wouldn't wake the others but could still rush back just in case. With a deep breath I took out my scroll and selected an old video.

She made this video in case she wasn't around to help me practice due to being away from Beacon. This way I wouldn't have any excuse to not train and could still have her around as a mentor.

It's one of the few things I still have of hers and it might be the most…precious out of all of them.

I set the video on repeat and placed my scroll on a nearby stump. I started the video and just let it run as I looked over my new equipment and just listened for a moment. I must have listened to this video a hundred times by now but each time I do it again it feels like the first time.

The video finished its first run through and I got ready.

"Alright Jaune, just like we practiced, follow these instructions. Shield up,"

I raised my shield to the proper height.

"Keep your grip tight,"

I tightened the grip on my sword.

"Don't forget to keep your front foot forward."

Already done.

"Ready? Go."

I tried to focus my aura as I shouted and stabbed forward.

"Again."

I focused harder and swung, making a slight distortion in the air in front of me.

"And again."

I focused with everything I had and swung one last time and again and only got a barely more visible distortion in the air for all my efforts.

I breathed hard from the effort as I paused, only three swings and I'm exhausted. Why am I so pathetic?!

"Ok, now assuming you aren't cheating," she teased, "we can take a break."

I felt the familiar frustration clamp down on my heart, making me wonder what the point of it all was. I'm giving it everything I've got but it's still not enough, it's never enough. I'm still too weak, I still can't protect anything, I still can't save anything.

It all makes me want to cry from the frustration of being so useless…

But she always knew how to pull me from those feelings.

"I know this can be frustrating."

I looked back toward the video.

"And it can feel like so much effort to progress just a small amount. But I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I've never met someone so determined to better themselves. You've grown so much since we started training. And I know this is just the beginning."

I can't help but smile just a little as she says that. She always knew how to make me believe in myself. Make me believe that despite everything, despite how hard it is, how slow my progress is, that I'll make it if I just keep going. She always had such faith in me…

She looked away from the camera for a moment, "Jaune I…I…" I turned to face the camera completely, almost taking a step towards it as she suddenly became shy with her words. Then she seemed to find her confidence again and looked directly at me again.

"I want you to know, that I'm just happy to be a part of your life," I smile at that too.

"I'll always be here for you Jaune."

And for a moment, just that one moment, it feels like she's not gone. That Pyrrha is still here right in front of me, still training me, having faith in me, loving me. And everything's alright.

Then the scroll beeps and rewinds the video and the moment's gone, just like she is.

"Alright Jaune, just like we practiced. Follow these instructions. Shield up, keep your grip tight. Don't forget to keep your front foot forward."

I look up and try to exhale the familiar pain before taking my stance again. I close my eyes trying to harden myself, try to stop it from hurting.

"Ready? Go"

But I can't.

"Again."

I can't change what happened.

"Again."

I can't bring her back and I couldn't save her.

"And again."

The only thing I can do is try to get even the slightest bit stronger. But now the swings of my sword aren't even making any distortions in the air, it's like I've slipped backwards trying to crawl out of a tar pit that no matter how hard I work, how many times I repeat this, I just can't escape the fact that I'm still _weak._

I scream in frustration with my last sword strike, like I'm trying to cut down that one inescapable fact.


	2. Bonus: Cold

Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY all I own is the heartbreak from the season 3 finale (am I right?)

As always please read, review and enjoy!

Cold

The newly established "safe zone" was more of a refugee camp than anything else. Improvised bulwarks and barriers surrounded the populous with the sound of gunfire and howls of grimm being the only sounds that rose above the sobbing and bustle of medics attending to the wounded. Fortunately, ever since the white light that froze that massive dragon grimm on top of Beacon the attacks were coming less and less as they began to congregate around that massive beast, like they were guarding it.

Through it all a young man walked through the zone in a daze. He couldn't remember finding Glenda, almost hysterically telling her about Pyhrra and Ozpin. He couldn't remember frantically trying to take a ship back to Beacon, he couldn't even remember his shock at seeing his beaten and wounded friends and teammates.

All he could remember was the face the man with the scythe made as he was holding Ruby in his arms, when he asked if Pyrhha was ok. To which his response was to only give him Pyrhha's crown.

Somehow in his daze he managed to find his way to Ren and Nora, they hadn't taken the worst of it but they were still in bad shape. Somehow though Nora still managed to have a bit more energy than everyone else as she almost tackled him and crushed him in a bearhug.

"Jaune you're ok!"

Ren for his part just turned his head towards him and smiled a little bit.

"I'm glad you're alright."

Jaune wanted to return the hug, he wanted to be able to enjoy the relief that they were ok, he wanted to say he had been so worried. He did nothing.

Nora put him down gently. "Hey Earth to Jaune, you alright?" Her eyes widened as just a shade of a suspicion entered her mind. "Wait, where is..."

Through an almost supreme effort of will, Ren managed to pull himself up into a sitting position.

"Jaune, is she..."

And somehow, through the layers of numbness and disbelief, through every hope that this was all just a nightmare that it wasn't true, that he'd wake up at any moment and see her smiling face, he managed to force out two words.

"She's gone."

It took several seconds for Nora to really process this. Her face was locked in a state of incomprehension then slowly morphed into horror.

"No, that's, no that can't…you're wrong that can't be!"

Ren looked away.

"No that's not possible, she's the best fighter in Beacon. She's, she's got to be alright she's always alright!"

"Nora…" Ren whispered.

"No she's alright I know she's ok! We've gotta go back, we gotta go get her…"

"Nora!"

She looked back at Ren who finally turned back to her, his own eyes shining with tears. At the sight of that, Nora Valkyrie broke down. Collapsing into Ren's arms and sobbing heavily.

Jaune just looked at them, his numbness cracking with each of Nora's tears until finally out of the numb void he took refuge in two feelings welled up like a tidal wave.

Shame and rage.

He ran away, not hearing Nora or Red call out for him, not hearing the guards at the perimeter of the safe zone try to stop him. He just ran out into the city sword and shield in hand. It wasn't long until he came across a grimm. A slightly larger than average beowolf.

"C'mon!" He screamed as he took off the surprised creature's head, slashing wildly at the disappearing body. "C'mon!"

His yells attracted an entire pack beowolfs that glared at the young warrior.

Blind with rage, Jaune charged them like he charged Cardin so many times before but the wolves charged back and surrounded him.

"Aaaaaaaahh!"

The lead wolf charged him dead on with a lethal swipe, it's a credit to Phyrra's training that he managed to block it and take off its it's head in one move. But then the other wolves leaped on him.

"AGH!"

One wolf managed to pin his arms down and glared into Jaune's eyes, its breath smelling like decaying rot as it's jaws closed around his head…and suddenly stopped, trapped by some kind of purple energy.

Next moment, all the wolves were being tossed around like toys as Glenda stalked towards them, making furious swipes with her wand, slamming the wolves into jagged debris and into each other. The last wolf tried to get away and she launched into the air before slamming it down so hard into the ground it made a crater.

"Mr. Arc what are you thinking!? Get back to the safe zone at once!"

Jaune didn't move.

Glenda scowled as she stomped over to Jaune's prone form."Mr. Arc so help me if I have to drag you back to the safe zone I'm going to be very…"

"It should have been me."

She stopped as she saw his face, completely blank and vacant of any emotion, slowly he got up turning until he was on all fours, his arms shaking with the fatigue from his adrenaline.

"Mr. Arc…"

"It should have been me! She shouldn't have been the one that died it should have been me!" he pounded the ground with a fist.

Glenda's eyes softened.

"She did her best to protect her teammates, her friends and the kingdom. She died a hero."

Jaune was silent for a moment, Glenda was about to speak again…

"She loved me. All this time she loved me and I couldn't…I was too weak to…"

Stop her. Protect her. Fight with her, all these things crossed the maelstrom that was Jaune's heart.

"It should have been me…"

With that, Jaune Arc broke down, barely even noticing when Glenda crouched down and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as he cried.

All he could really feel was the cold of that fall night that heralded the nearing of winter.


End file.
